During the past 25 years a universal catalogue of acceptable excuses for taking days off work has been established. Thanks to it, all but the most neurotic among us are comfortable telling bosses that we won't be in because of a bad cold, a sick child or a moderate injury.

But sniffles dry out, ill kids stop splattering and badly sprained ankles only stay an alarming shade of indigo for so long. So if you're looking for an extended break from work, can you supplement these stock excuses and stretch out your sickie?

Well, as luck would have it, yes: "I'm stuck in traffic." Tepid? Insipid? Not any more. Twenty years ago, this excuse bought you 15 minutes. Ten years ago it bought you an hour. These days, as long as you live in a metropolitan centre, you can tell your boss that you're stuck in traffic and they'll expect to see you no sooner than three weeks hence.

"I'm inking up." Tattoos, once the exclusive domain of sailors and reprobates, are now as mainstream as beards and one-term governments. In fact, in 2015 you can easily convince a boss that adding to your sleeve is a form of professional development.

"I have wind turbine syndrome." Don't live next to a wind farm? Doesn't matter. As long as you live on the mainland you're now close enough to a wind turbine to claim that you're suffering at the hands - nay, diabolical wings - of these insidious moaning monoliths.

Do away with guilt, awkward questions and unnecessarily long work weeks and try on these immaculately tailored excuses for size.

Jonathan Rivett writes other stuff at haught.com.au